Reflections on my first dinner in a restaurant in over a year

I hit full Pfizer-powered vaccine efficacy at approximately 9:45 yesterday morning. I’m feeling good about stepping back into the world, although I have to get in touch with Microsoft support about turning off Cortana. That’s worth celebrating, so I decided to do something I used to enjoy doing multiple times a week but hadn’t done …

UFOs! UAPs! WTF?

An interview on the latest episode of 60 Minutes has kicked the zeitgeist into action around unidentified flying objects. Turns out the United States military has been encountering a ton of these things out at sea the last few years. There’s been no word on any abductions and/or probings. I’ve been into this shit since …

One more

I don’t care what people think: HealthMaxx is an amazing brand and I love selling their products! “They’re a pyramid scheme,” my neighbor Penelope said at brunch the other day. “You’re gonna end up spending the kids’ college fund on a closet full of lotion you can’t move.” She was three mimosas deep so I’ve …

Reflections on Muse21

When the pandemic hit, I told myself I was going to spend all my extra time on my writing. That didn’t quite happen. Did I accomplish as much as I thought I would without all the fun city things distracting me? No, but I still got a lot done. I started by signing up for …

Farts should be protected speech

Recently, a young Austrian man was fined for farting in the general direction of a police officer approaching him and his friends in a park for an identity check. In court, the man tried to argue that this fine is ridiculous because his flatulence should be protected under his freedom of expression. The presiding judge …

Lazarus Jones and the Burden of Brilliance

With great power comes great responsibility – and friends who expect you to bail them out of trouble. “I’ve got it!” Lazzy said, triumphantly presenting Keighlan with the unicorn’s tooth. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face and leaned in for a closer look. “Where was it?” “In his desk drawer, underneath …

Selfless

An ancient rite for modern times. Magellaneg’s legs ached. That was the whole point of the exercise, she knew, but trolls weren’t built to kneel. To her left, Gallamemnit sensed her discomfort. “Can’t be long now, Mag,” he whispered. Cousins born mere weeks apart, they’d always been close—although they often joked that if there were any sort of psychic bond …

The Underdog

Don’t gamble what you can’t afford to lose. Jim rose up from the butt groove in his beloved couch as the quarterback on screen scrambled to his left, cocked his arm, and launched a prayer toward the end zone. “Come on,” Jim slurred, his awareness bursting to life through the craft beer haze that’d kept him placid through the game’s first fifty-nine …

Is it weird…

…that I’m oddly preoccupied with my bottle of fish oil capsules? Like, it says it’s 100% Alaskan, but how do I know some grouper from Kentucky didn’t sneak his way in there? …that I find it cathartic to see the virtual players I found most frustrating in the first season of my MLB: The Show …