The 2022 Winter Olympics began the other day, reminding me once again that holy crap, the Olympics are so damn dull. Look, I appreciate the dedication and skill of all of these amazing athletes. I just don’t find anything they’re doing particularly entertaining. So let’s jazz it up. Let’s bring the Winter Games into the …
In response to Conservative effort to ban books that really shouldn’t be banned, teenagers in a small Pennsylvania town have created a club specifically for reading, discussing, and understanding those banned titles. It’s awesome. I’ve joked on my various social media accounts about getting my books banned on purpose because it’ll lead to a lot …
Read more “The kids in Kutztown’s Banned Book Club are awesome”
This week, the day job asked me to talk to a group of interns about my career path. No big deal; I’ve done this kind of thing before, and it’s always a fun look back at where I came from and how I’ve gotten to where I am. It reminds me that yes, actually, I …
Although I am not an official voter, I know that my voice carries great weight across the internet and I wanted to share my selections for this year’s Baseball Hall of Fame ballot as a means of assisting any real voters who need help. You’re welcome. David Ortiz I own one jersey. There is but …
If I’d been put in charge of writing the fate of the 2021 New England Patriots, the way things shook out in real life is about how I would’ve written it. The team took an undeniable step forward from a frustrating and embarrassing 2020 (I can relate), but they also aren’t quite there just yet …
Christmas came early to those of us with weird senses of humor thanks to this article about the Cinco Jotas company’s overwhelmed ham sniffers. It’s all about old-fashioned quality control, you see, and ham demand during the holidays means these noses have to get a whiff of about four times as many hams as they …
Read more “I don’t want to be the ham sniffer but I’m glad he exists”
Resolutions are for more reliable people who aren’t so easily distracted by video games and beer. Goals, though–those are fungible and can be worded in a way that lets me say “yeah, I mostly did that” in between grasping excuses. Huzzah! Things I’m totally going to accomplish, I swear Finish up the second Black Yonnix …
So we know that if we want the world to be a slightly less obnoxious place we need to vaccinate as many people as possible against COVID-19. We also know that there are small but entrenched cadres of conspiracy-humping Tucker Carlson fanboys and hippie dippie moon children who absolutely refuse to pull their heads out …
The first drawing in Massachusetts’s shameless ploy to goad its legions of lottery-loving louts into getting the jab is this week. Winners will be announced Thursday. As a proud degenerate Masshole, I signed up five minutes after registration opened. But what oh what will I do when I win all that money? Let’s explore the …
Happy All-Star Break! As the league’s best prepare to putz around in Denver for a bit, it feels like a good time to take the sport’s temperature. I’d say we’re looking at lukewarm. If you’ve read me before, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I spend a lot of time thinking about the …